Sunday, January 27, 2008
TAGALOG POSTAng tagal ko na rin hindi nagpo-post dito sa blog ko. This time, magtatagalog naman ako para maiba lang ang atmosphere ko.
This week super busy ako sa school. Halos lahat ng subjects may Unit test. nakakaloka! bakit ba kung kelan nagsesenti-sentihan ako, saka pa ako binabaha ng quizzes? I haven't got all the results yet but I got the result of my quiz in Business English.
I got an A! yey!! after 3 sleepless nights, na-memorize ko din lahat ng chapters na part ng exam namin. Actually sumobra nga yung review ko kasi pati yung chapter 5, minemorize ko rin tapos nung test day..na-realize ko na hanggang chapter 4 lang pala yung covered. Tawa nga ng tawa yung classmates ko nung nakita nya na hirap na hirap ako sa pagme-memorize ng Chapter 5 tapos di naman pala kasama.
Lesson Learned: Listen to the professor's instructions. I got a 92 out of 100 - ano kaya yung nasagutan ko ng mali? I set my goal na gagawin kong
perfect yung score ng first quiz ko kasi mejo madali lang naman. Nakakaduling lang yung mga words kasi parang magkaka-mukha sila sa unang tingin. sige na nga..happy na ako sa 92. -A- pa rin naman yung remark nun.
Ang weird ng week na ito. Lahat na lang yata ng emotions, naramdaman ko this week. Excited sa quizzes (finally, malalaman ko na kung paano magpa-quiz ang mga professors). Nerbyos kasi baka makalimutan ko lahat ng na-memorize ko. Masaya kasi may bago na akong break buddies (Ate Jenifer and Kuya Ryan)..kasama ko si Ate Jenifer every tuesdays and thursdays then kasama namin si Ryan every thursdays. nakakatuwa naman puro pinoy ang ka-bonding ko sa school ngayon unlike last semester na puro amerikano and then yung iba mga german. Super komportable ako kasama sila ate Jenifer and Ryan...nagja-jive talaga yung mga kalokohan namin. Oh I forgot to tell you na si Ryan ay kapatid ni Shiela (na nakilala ko thru friendster). Ang bibo nun ni Ryan lalo na nung nagme-memorize ako para sa Human Anatomy quiz ko..tawa xa ng tawa sa mga technique ko sa pagme-memorize ng medical terms.
This week, super lungkot ko kasi almost 3 weeks ko na hindi nakakausap ang love of my life,
Daniel. Nakikita ko pa rin xa every sunday sa church but we never got a chance to talk. Palagi xa kasama ng parents nya then ako naman, it's either aalis agad after ng mass or magse-stay sa parish hall. Naging busy na ako sa school kaya umuuwi agad ako sa bahay after ng mass or minsan naman nagse-stay ako sa parish hall---hoping that Daniel and I could talk. As hopeless as it seems, pag nagse-stay ako, umaalis naman kaagad si Daniel. Ganun yung situation namin for the past three weeks. I'm terribly sad...masakit yung feeling na physically present xa pero parang ang layo layo nya. Last month, lumipat na ng bahay si Daniel. Binenta kasi ng parents nya yung 5-bedroom house nila sa Gainesville then bumili sila ng 3-bedroom house dito sa Jonesboro so tumira na ulit si Daniel sa parents nya. Sayang naman kasi kung magre-rent si Daniel ng sariling apartment kung pwede naman xa mag-stay sa parents nya. So ayun...last tuesday, kumain ako sa Lakeside Cafe (University Center). Habang kumakain ako, bigla ko nakita si Daniel na bumababa ng hagdan---may kasamang babae. Nag-uusap lang naman sila and wala namang sweet gestures (no kissing, no hugging, no making-out, no arms-over-the-shoulder, nor holding hands) na nangyari. I wouldn't deny the fact that I was still jealous..oh no..not jealous of that girl -- I was jealous on the fact that Daniel is spending most of his time with other people samantalang hindi na kami nag-uusap. Hay naku...napaka-immature ko na naman. Daniel is not a material possession and
he's free to talk to anyone. Let's leave it that way..
I told Macey about
Daniel flirting with other girls (imagine all those exaggerating illustrations i did while sharing it to Macey). Ang weird talaga ng bestfriend ko. Sugurin daw namin yung babae or alamin daw namin kung saan nakatira. May binigay pa nga sakin si Macey na number daw ng private detective na kakilala nya! grabe!!! I'm glad Macey was there to comfort me.
Anyway, buti na rin na madami akong exams this week..hindi ko maxado naalala si Daniel. I even told my comrades that I should move on...and that I'm better off without Daniel on the picture.
"Yes I love him. I love him more than anything else in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to him forever. But I know it's not for the best. So no matter how much my heart is going to break, I've got to let him go so he can know just how much I love him. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this.”I went to church this morning. I can no longer feel the excitement of seeing Daniel. SO okay..I was sitting there on my usual spot when suddenly...Daniel sat down beside me. I was shocked..I've seen Daniel's parents on the other side of the aisle and nagulat ako na tumabi sakin si Daniel. 15minutes na lang magsa-start na yung mass. And that 15minutes is the longest 15minutes I have ever had. Sinong makakapagsabi na sa loob ng 15minutes na yun, okay na kami ni Daniel. He did almost all the talking. Dati mas madaldal ako pero since mejo inis ako sakanya kanina, pinabayaan ko xa magsalita. Siguro napansin nya na hindi ako maxado kumibo. I was just staring at him..speechless. Nagulat ako na super apologize xa sakin eh kung tutuusin, wala naman xang dapat i-apologize.
We're not officially together. He doesn't have any responsibilty na mag-explain sakin. But yeah..hindi nya rin ako natiis. Sabi ko na nga ba
love nya ako ehh. haha. It's funny that around 8:30am this morning,
I was amidst of moving on and holding back then for just 15minutes, here I am again...loving Daniel with all of my heart. He's a very beautiful person. I was mesmerized by his presence..I was cast by his spell all over again. I choose this road where nothing is certain and I know that no matter where this road would take me, i would not regret it.
Hindi ko pa nakakausap si Macey. She's busy spending quality time with her cousins in South Carolina. I'm sure pag nabasa nya itong post ko or pag nakwento ko sakanya yung reconciliation namin ni Daniel, babatukan ako nun. I can only imagine her reaction pag nalaman nya.
change topic..aalis na this week si Fr. Tom. Si Fr. Tom yung pumalit kay Fr. Lucas. He just stayed on our parish for five months kasi made-destino na naman xa sa ibang congregation. Nakakalungkot tuloy..dalawang priest na yung umalis simula nung dumating ako dito. Sayang..kung kelan pa naman mejo close na kami ni Fr. Tom, saka pa xa aalis. I hugged him so tight during his send-off party this morning after the mass. I will miss him. Sabi ko nga ie-email ko na lang xa every now and then. He said that i'm a very
vibrant soul and that he would always pray for my well-being. I'm happy..no not because he's leaving..I'm happy because I know that he will touch more lives than I could ever imagine.
to Fr. Tom: “May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sunshine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand. Farewell! God knows when we shall meet again.”
SMILE...you're with me!
