?my light will shine when all else fade.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

one of the saddest news i've ever heard since i came here in america..

8:50am, we arrived in the church. the usual chikahan again before we come inside the mass. It's raining today and the church was not as 'jam-packed' as usual. Most of the people were probably on vacation or they're just too lazy to go on the early morning mass. When i went to the gathering hall, joshua approached me. He said that they need another altar-server because someone didn't show up again. As i've said a month ago, if given another chance..i would love to do altar serving again. Joshua were kinda worried because the mass was about to start. I agreed on him and went straight to the server's room. I get the costume and dressed as fast as i can. To my surprise, Joshua followed me inside pala! that's fine..he just want to make sure that i get the right dress. He said sorry and thank you a hundred times! so ayun..

joshua and i went to the gathering hall. Ashley was still there. She just wanted to make sure that i'm ok. She's worried because she can't help me this time; she even offered hersef to replace. I told her that i can do it. I'm nervous but i will try my best not to commit some mistakes. Joshua told Ashley that he will guide me. SO wala ng problem!

we went to our proper place. Joshua ask me if i want to hold the cross. Duh? whatta question? the cross was taller than me! gugustuhin ko bang pahirapan ang sarili ko? I nod at him. He said that he was just kidding and he wants to see my smile so that he wont feel guilty for placing me here.

the mass started. Fr. Gregory will lead the mass while Deacon Peter will assist him. everything went out well. Ofcourse i feel more confident now than i did the first time. Tapos si Joshua gustong kunin lahat ng trabaho ko! xempre di naman ako pumayag. I will not stand there just like a doll, i have to do something! mejo nalilito pa rin ako sa mga ginagawa dun pero okay naman. Pag kumakanta yung choir, ayun si joshua salita ng salita. comment ng comment sa mga tao. hay naku! mas madaldal pa sakin. Sabi ko nga sakanya, hinaan nya yung boses nya kasi baka naririnig kami ni deacon peter. one time nga, habang may binabasa si deacon peter, nag-joke si joshua about daw dun sa classmate nya nung middle school. Natawa talaga ako! kulang na lang mapatayo ako sa kakatawa! tapos lumingon si deacon peter. ooopppsss..narinig yata kami. Humirit na naman si Joshua na baka may 'super-sonic' ears daw si deacon peter! naku..hanggang ngayon natatawa pa rin ako pag naaalala ko yung mga comment nya. Parang nakita ko yung sarili ko kay Joshua. Mahilig din mag-comment. Yung comment na nakakatawa pero hindi nakakaasar. Wholesome naman..

when the mass was about to end, Fr. Lucas just showed up from somewhere. He has this important and urgent announcement to all the parishoners.

Fr. Lucas received a call from the bishop yesterday; requesting his service for a catholic university in washington. Fr. Lucas said that the request came out of the blue. No one expect it comming. He said that this was all part of God's plan for him. He was terribly sad because he doesn't want to leave. He's been the parish priest of st. philip benizi catholic church for 5 yrs. now. Everyone was shock and unhappy about his bad news.

The happy face i have earlier suddenly vanished. I feel so sorry for myself. Fr. Lucas is my lifeline, my mentor. Eversince I came here in St. Philip, he's been so good to me. He made me feel more 'welcome' in this place. He embraced my whole being without asking anything in return. He made my stay here easier than i could ever imagine. I know he's always making fun of me..teasing me all the time..but i guess that was just his way of making me feel that i'm part of the group. He make me feel closer to God. I guess my life would be different without him. His influence was so powerful. So majestic..i don't want this to happen! i don't want him leave this place..

After Fr. Lucas' speech, everyone stood up and applaused him. He have touched not only my heart, but the heart each and everyone. He's a BIG lost on our community. A small community so close to each other that we can't let anyone leave. Our hearts were tied with each other. We shared the sadness of Fr. Lucas' departure. The Adult Faith Foundation (who was headed by Fr. Lucas), will be very different without Fr. Lucas' presence. All the members of AFF were all teens and we all see Fr. Lucas as our idol. He is very strict in regards with the rules of AFF ("the rules were made for the goodness of all being" - Fr. Lucas) however, he is very cool on other stuff. He made the AFF's confession and sharing more interesting and fun. He is the fuel to make our faith more stronger.

The mass has ended. I'm not surprised when i saw joshua, who's very happy earlier, was so quiet. He was also sad. The mood in the gathering hall was different from what it was before. Joshua asked me if i wanted to go to Fr. Lucas' office so we can talk to him (and tell him not to leave). Ash, Josh and I went to the office. Daniel was also there, he was talking to Fr. Lucas. I guess we all went there to stop Fr. Lucas' departure. We express our feelings about his decision. But that's not enough to stop him.

To be continued................

SMILE...you're with me!